


you almost did it

by lemonmeme



Category: South Park
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Gay, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Thanks, a little kenman because its cute, cmon now, dont let this flop, im just a meme with big dreams, kyles not that much of an asshole, oh but kyle does manage to fuck up spoilers sorry, stans babey, warning um not so happy stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-22 19:23:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonmeme/pseuds/lemonmeme
Summary: sharon divorces with randy due to the fact they didnt get along at all, leaving stan with him and shelly with herrandys drinking problem eventually gets worse and starts using stan as a coping mechanism//kyles a complete dumbass here





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> h hello  
> its me the lemon with big dreams  
> its my first time writing anything so uh-  
> criticism will be pretty cool

the marsh family was a really stable family compared to butters', there may have been some yelling but hey! that happens all the time with families right? apparently it wasnt.

July 3rd, 2019, Sharon filed a divorce. saying everything was going downhill. she left Stan with him because she didnt wanna leave Randy all alone. she informed Stan to call her if Randys not treating him right, she'll pick him up right away.

Randy had reassured Sharon that'd he'd do nothing to Stan and he didn't have to call her.

after one last conversation. Sharon moved to another house, far away from the true marsh residence.

Randys drinking problem got worse. To the point he'd forget about dinner, causing Stan to starve at nights.

of course after that, it started to go downhill, like... even worse.

\---

the school bell rang, signalling that class was about to start. the school they were in was really different than elementary.

all of them had grown a lot, looking completely different than what they used to. Cartman had lost some weight, Kenny started wearing different clothes other than just his regular parka, Butters had became at least a little manly.

Kyle, on the other hand. had grown nice and tall. no one called him the ugliest anymore 'cept Cartman (he never changes). Kyle might have changed the most.

before the teacher entered the classroom, Kyle whispered to Kenny, that was lost in his new phone already.

"hey dude, have you seen Stan anywhere?"

Kenny, immediately losing his attention to his phone shaked his head "no, why?"

"dude its almost time for class, he should be here by now!" Kyle, as a fact knew almost everything about Stan. and that hes only late when hes sick.

"well he doesnt have to, just because he came to class late for only one day doesn't necessarily mean somethings wrong. plus, you didn't care a bit when i came late because i got hit by a car." 

"huh.."

there was a moment of silence until the door flung open, showing Stan panting.

"fuck! im late im so sorry!!"


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kyle KNOWS something's up but he doesnt do shit
> 
> hesistant kyle best kyle just sayin

class was okay, todays topic wasnt as boring as the last one.

at lunch, Kenny was whispering some stupid pick-up lines at Eric. Butters was eating apples. giggling at how Eric reacting at Ken's flirting, Eric had really grown more sensitive.

"wow, you really fuckin suck at this kinny" Eric snapped. "i hate you"

"i love you too~" Kenny whispered.

everyone seemed to be having fun cept Kyle, he had noticed something different in Stan. he was extremely quiet, he sounded like as if he had trouble breathing, and his lunchbox only had a sandwich with cheese. 

"so um. yall ran out of food? yknow cause... your moms not with you." Kyle asked.

"what?"

"no no like, why- um- how is- ...you only have a sandwich in your fucking lunchbox???"

"...uh, because thats all i know how to make." Stan shrugged, cracking a smile. Kyle started to worry.

"your dads tryna make you independent?"

"well... no but..." Stan stayed silent, spacing out. deliberately searching for a excuse. "well, yeah something like that."

 _well then he should have taught you something else other than a god damn sandwich with cheese, thats not food._ Kyle thought to himself. having a really bad gut feeling. he knew something was up, he just didnt know what. 

Kyle tried his best to start a conversation with Stan, but he always brushed him off for some reason.

**Stans POV**

i dont want to ignore Kyle. but he's asking such vague questions. i dont dont to get killed by telling him everything.

dad is fucking horrible. ever since mom left he has turned into the worst fucking monster no one can believe he could turn into.

he's a fucking _child abuser_.

all i can eat is a god damn sandwich Kyle. thats fucking all. i dread the fact of bread or cheese running out.

he's scary. i dont like him.

the bell rings. i quickly eat up my sandwich and grab my bag. and once again try my best to not make eye-contact with Kyle's worry-filled eyes. 

as much as i want to go home so bad so i can finally fucking take of this optimistic facade. at the same time i just want the day to last longer and go to Kyle's house.

but if i _do_ go to Kyle's. I'd probably won't see tomorrow.

_please. kyle. say "do you wanna come over?" i beg you._

we walk silently. just praying Kyle would ask if i wanted to come over. but of course it won't happen. why would it?

"see ya tomorrow dude" i wave Kyle goodbye before blankly staring at the door. he waves back and leaves.

just thinking of opening the door scares me. its like this house has a fucking aura of danger around it. i turn around to ask Kyle if i could come over but he was gone. there we go, im stuck with someone i cant trust.

i open the door to see the same thing.

dad, with a bunch of alcohol bottles in the table. some of them on the floor. the house was a mess, i wonder what mom would say if she was still here. 

i go upstairs to my room. ever since mom left. this home lost its light. everything seemed to be a lot more darker.

i drop my bag to the floor. and immediately jump onto the bed, digging my head in the pillow. wishing there was mom by my side right now.

i lay there silently, wondering what mom and shelly would be doing right now. if i should call her or no. wondering if i should sneak out and go to Kyle's. wondering if... anyone would even care if i got killed... wondering if...

i flinch at the door creaking open. i already know its dad. i dont even need to turn around.

dad mumbles something under his breath, something i wasnt able to catch, but its obvious. like always. like everyday. i doubt i need to even say this out.

let's just get this over with, id rather not welcome more brutality.

i shakily sit up, facing my dad. someone im supposed to trust. someone who's supposed to love me. someone thats supposed to guard me.

but doesn't. thats something mom did.

i take a deep breath and let him do whatever he wants to do.

kicking, punching, pulling my hair, just get it over with.

he fiercely grabs me by the red fur on my jacket and throws me on the floor, i let out a whimper.

"if it weren't for you. things could have been fucking different. you're the reason why everythings FALLING APART!" he yells.

i deliberately try to keep my important organs out of his reach. i dont want to die.

he continues to beat the shit out of me as i cover both my face and torso. wishing i had asked Kyle if i wanted to come over.

i want to get out of here.

Kyle. Mom. anyone. please, help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here was stans pov!!!! im pretty happy bc its longer than the last one skksks


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi! im sorry i took a little too long to update despite me promising myself to update everyday... i was playing minecraft all day :^)

**Kyles POV, 11:54PM**

i can't do this, Stans behaviour has kept getting weirder everyday.

Stan would desperately try to avoid any contact, sometimes come without his lunchbox, snap at anyone and hell, he even took off that fucking sbf bracelet i gave him when we were fucking 10! i think about what i might have done that he took it off... maybe the little fights we had? because i called him cartman once?

i blindly pat on the table, searching for my phone.

the screen flickered. its blue light temporarily blinding me. Stan had texted me 2 hours ago? well fuck. i type in my password and click on the notification, curiosity taking over me.

"hey duds uh-... can i coms oved, im sorry i miss when wd um had slsspovers n such"

"dude* come* over* we* sleepover* fuck sorry sksks"

i giggle at Stans horrible typos. god i have to face it. i love him.

hes such a fucking clumsy dork, his personality makes it better. plus his soft black locks.

i find myself blushing at the phone.

god im so fucking _gay_. he might not even have the same feelings for me considering he had a girlfriend that fucking ditched him so many times.

i type in my response 

"late rep. soz. but lol, 'kay, maybe tomorrow bc i fucked up & didnt see ur msg. also r/ihadastroke"

i hope to god he comes next day, i missed him so fucking much. ever since his mom left he's been acting so strange. i get lost in thought, thinking about Stan.

he never really changed, he and still is the goofy little kid even after so long. even his personality is something childish.

he's optimistic as fuck, he has so much passion for everything. not even joking, _everything._ i see why he will never love me. hes so much better.

i doze off, thinking about stan and the possible sleepover we're gonna have the next day.

\----------

**Stans POV, 6:29AM**

_BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP_

what the fuck?

_BEEP BEE-_

i slam my hand on the alarm "alright, im awake you fucking burden". i take a deep breath and slowly stand up to tumble and almost lose my balance.

everything hurted so bad. yesterdays beating was fucking horrible. well, my legs hurted way bad so... walkings gonna be a chore! thanks dad!!

i open my closet looking for my ordinary brown jacket. the fact im 3 years older than when i got this jacket kinda weirded me out because it still fit. well i think its because im a walking skeleton, of course. 

apparently i had slept in my jeans so well. thats, fine i think?

i sneak down the stairs hoping dad won't hear me, i don't want anything to be more of a chore. i put on my white and light blue shoes and leave. the school bus waiting

"hey dude!" Kyle yells, behind the group of other kids sitting and talking shit about stuff.

i wave at Kyle, holding my blush. i sit next to him. desperately wanting the bus to move and get me away from this hellhole I'm supposed to call a house.

i look at my phone, the black screen making me realize i forgot to hide my black eye. that was fresh out of the oven.

 _fuck._ i hope to god no one sees this. 

"so you do remember the sleepover we're supposed to have tonight right?" Kyle asks, looking outside.

"of course i do dude" i smile at the thought of being away from my dad and sleeping in peace for once, with Kyle.

"hell yeah!"

we continue to sit in silence. Kyle desperately trying to divert his attention to outside instead of something. i dunno what.

the trees looked pretty nice though, not gonna lie...

.

.

.

.

.

.

_i fucking saw it._


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kyle now has an idea of what might be happening, but fucks everything up anyways

**Kyles POV**

i cant help but see Stan's beautiful blue eyes, covered by a deep bruise.

it can't be fucking Shelly this time. she moved away with her mom. she can't hit him from so fucking far away. or does she come to the marsh residence to meet dad and beat Stan? no thats unreal.

i try diverting my attention from Stan's eyes to the big green trees. they almostly matched my eyes.

before i even know it. we reach school, i feel myself being shook.

"dude, we're here." Stan quietly says, standing up, i follow. 

_he's so small_

our teacher greets us with the usual 'good morning class', im tired of hearing that. you fuckers sound like fucking robots.

i space out, suspecting his dad, Randy Marsh for hitting him. but that can't be true. he's goofy, like a typical dad! honestly i like him as a dad. mine sucks.

my thoughts block out the teacher. of course, thats gonna get me in huge trouble since im the um- 'smartest' but in my opinion i think Stan is more important than kings that saved colorado from destruction. honestly they should've let them destroy this stupid tiny town.

i look at Stan, who seems to be really nervous right now. rubbing his hands together and looking and random directions.

his black locks poking out of his red and blue beanie.

.

"Kyle Broflovski?"

.

"Kyle Broflovski!"

i flinch at the teacher calling out my name. god i hope no one noticed me blushing- i'd rather not be called gay all the time.

i get to solve a problem for something i didnt even pay attention to. well great.

.

.

end of class - i got the question wrong, everyone laughed, i got a whole bunch of homework, and now i just wanna lay on the ground and let earth reclaim me.

im finally free from the dumb shit she was teaching, i eat the spaghetti my mom gave me and the leftover pizza. _hell yeah!_

_._

"mmnh fuck" Stan mumbles "i forgot my lunchbox at home"

Stan sighs loudly and lays his head on the table in disappointment. i chuckle, i dont know why i find that cute.

but its cute. i love his clumsiness. i stare at him for a while, hes so cute what the fuck. its so hard to control my blush right now.

"kahl, thats gay" 

well great, the fatass noticed me staring at Stan

"no shit Sherlock, as if YOU aren't" i reply

"well kahl, my boyfriend isnt a hippie so how bout you think of that" Eric spits with venom, i hate him so much. how does his mom keep up with him? i ignore Eric, avoiding drama as much as i can.

there's a moment of silence until Stan decides to break it. 

"why do you always have to be an asshole Cartman..." Stan looks up at Eric with his tired eyes.

"you're a asshole! my mom says im a nice baby boy." 

"well, sorry to break it to you but she's wrong. you're fucking annoying."

"AYE!!" Eric slams the table. looking at Stan with pure hatred.

"chill, can't handle the truth much?" i smirk.

we laugh for a wee bit until going completely silent, my mind diverts to the sleepover we're supposed to have today.

i have it all planned. we're gonna have the best sleepover ever!! but before that. i need to ask Stan if he's still coming.

"so uh, you're still coming after lunch right?" i smile. Stan stays silent, not answering my question. he seems hesitant.

...

"Kyle i can't, im sorry. i have to go home early"

my mind goes blank. what? _what_? you lift my fucking hopes like that and then you-?

"but you said- you wanted to have a sleepover yesterday! what the fuck happened now?!"

"Kyle- dude- please i-"

"oh, i get it! it because i replied to your message late!! ohh woww! thats great. thanks Stan."

"dude please. i-i cant-"

anger takes over me. _what the fuck._ i lose control over all my actions.

"no thanks. i'd rather not hear your stupid excuses. go fuck with Wendy or some shit" i realize what i just said. but i dont give a fuck. i see Stan's eyes widen.

"ooh... yikes." Kenny whispers, gritting his teeth in fear.

i suddenly feel horrible pain in my stomach suddenly.

_Stan fucking kicked me._

thats fucking it. in defense, i punch him.

"kahl why didn't you tell me this was gonna happen?! i would've bought popcorn!!" Eric grins. others come in to see what was happening. now everyones gonna be mentioning this for for 1 week, great.

i blindly hit Stan as he hits me back sometimes. either he misses or he just isn't able to build enough power.

this continues until i hear Stan scream. he immediately sits up and pushes himself away from me. i shoot my head up to see what happened.

apparently i had punched his injured eye.

guilt rushes through me as Butters runs away to tell the principal.

Stan starts sobbing uncontrollably. i feel awful.

i shift a little closer. and slowly move his hand away from his eye. he's shaking so bad it makes my hand shake when i touch him. "fuck dude- i-im so sorry" 

he pushes me away, trying to get away from me. his eye is bloodshot red now, fuck. i feel horrible.

i get detention. and this time, Stan doesn't walk home with me. i understand why he doesn't want to. but that just makes me feel worse. not that im blaming him for something i did but...

even worse, tomorrow is Saturday. i can't see Stan in person and apologize.

i hope to god he forgives me. i cant lose him.

**Stans POV**

i dont want to believe this happened. fuck im- i- im so fucking stupid for hesitating and saying no. i could have been with him right now and safe. why did i fucking hesitate WHY DID I FUCKING HESITATE.

now i cant go back to him. he'll hate me for causing so much then accepting to have a sleepover. 

i want to fucking kill myself.

all i cause is fucking trouble.

i see why my dad hates me.

its getting hard to control the tears now.

im so weak. i cry so fast. i see why no one likes me.

Kyle never deserved such a horrible friend like me.

i can't be called his "super best friend".

he deserves someone else. someone better. im just a stupid, sensitive, and overall the worst person to walk on this planet.

maybe dads just doing all this for the good.

im horrible.

no one will miss me anyways.


End file.
